Why is Empathy Important for Kids? Tips to Build Empathy in Children
Experts agree that empathy is an important tool for children to have in their emotional toolbox. Empathy is important because it can help people build connection, regulate emotion, and promote helping behaviors.
For kids, empathy can prevent bullying, help them make friends, and help them receive help from others.
When a child lacks empathy, it can be a concern for parents. It is important to remember, however, that empathy develops over time, and the first signs of empathy in children might not be immediately recognized as such by their parents.
Empathy is a complex ability that develops over time and can be taught and reinforced in a variety of ways. Read on to learn tips to help build empathy in children!
Empathy Definition for Kids
While most parents have heard that empathy is “a good thing,” they might be unclear on exactly what empathy means from a psychological perspective.
Simply put, empathy is the ability to put oneself in another person’s position, to imagine what it would be like to experience life from another person’s perspective, especially in terms of emotion.
According to Psychology Today, empathy in kids includes the following characteristics:
Understands that she is a distinct person from those around her and that other people may have different feelings and perspective than her own.
Can recognize feelings in herself and others and name them.
Can regulate her own emotional responses.
Can put herself in someone else’s shoes and imagine how someone might feel.
Can imagine what kind of action or response might help a person feel better.
Tips to Build Empathy in Kids
For younger children, parents can help build empathy by setting a good example and talking about the range of feelings both parents and children feel every day, such as sadness, happiness, frustration, annoyance, etc.
Here are a few suggestions to build empathy in your children from parenting resource Zero to Three:
Empathize with your child.
Talk about others’ feelings. This can be based on people you know or even characters, such as Elmo on Sesame Street, which does a good job of modeling empathy.
Suggest how children can show empathy.
Read children’s books about feelings together. Your local librarian or bookseller can point you in the right direction.
Be a role model by expressing empathy for for others.
Use “I” messages. (“I don’t like it when you hit me. It hurts.”)
Validate your child’s difficult emotions. (“I know you felt scared when you heard that big thunder clap. I feel scared when I hear really loud noises, too.”)
Use pretend play by acting out opportunities to demonstrate empathy with stuffed animals or other toys.
Think through the use of “I’m sorry.” Help children understand when and why they should say it.
Be patient as your child learns the importance of empathy. It is a skill that is not learned overnight.
These strategies can easily be incorporated into day-to-day life with young kids. The good news about empathy is that it is a life skill that can be taught and reinforced through intention and practice.
Empathy in Older Kids
Modeling and reinforcing empathy with older kids might seem more challenging upon first glance; however, there are some excellent ways to promote empathy as a tool for healthy connections and emotional well-being among older kids and teens.
Parents wanting to encourage empathy in older children should consider age appropriate ways to implement the same kinds of strategies suggested for younger children.
For example, talking about others’ feelings, validating difficult emotions, using “I” messages, and being a good role model by expressing empathy for others are all effective strategies for encouraging empathy among the middle-school and high school set. These same strategies could also be useful in addressing bullying, anxiety, and depression in older kids.
Additionally, encouraging children to read widely is a good way to promote empathy. Classical literature and more contemporary young adult books offer teens the chance to connect with characters or nonfiction figures and learn how they navigate struggles in their lives. In turn, the insight kids gain from reading can be applied in their everyday lives. Consider reading along with your teen, and make time to discuss the books with them.
Empathy Games for Older Kids
There are also games designed specifically for these age groups that promote empathy and emotional wellbeing.
These games go beyond teaching empathy for kids to use with family and friends and actually encourage critical thinking about how human beings across the globe experience life.
Topics include race, war, poverty, illness, violence, and ethical dilemmas. According to Common Sense Education, the following games are particularly effective for teaching empathy:
Who Am I? Race Awareness Game helps kids think about different ways people self-identify race and cultural identity, and gives adults tips for talking about diversity with kids. The two-person game promotes social interaction, and extension questions prompt discussion between kids and parents or teachers. Read the full review.
Cool School: Where Peace Rules
Cool School teaches empathy in a way that's sure to be more effective than the occasional adult lecture that can either confuse kids or make them feel singled out. In this game, kids learn conflict-resolution skills by watching animations of realistic situations and seeing the effects of both good and bad choices. Read the full review.
Through a discussion-rich narrative and some action, this graphic novel app helps kids learn to identify emotions, reflect on personal strengths and weaknesses, respect peer viewpoints, build friendships, persevere through difficulties, and put their troubles in perspective. Read the full review.
Spent, a text-based choose-your-own-adventure game, offers a compelling introduction to an important social issue. Players assume the life of someone living on the poverty line and must make choices -- such as whether to buy food or medication -- based on their income and on the events that occur. Read the full review.
Darfur is Dying is a Web-based simulation that puts students in the shoes of ordinary non-Arab citizens of western Sudan in the midst of the ongoing conflict that began in 2003. Be prepared to discuss with students very difficult topics, including kidnapping, genocide, and rape. Read the full review.
The plot of this video simulation game unfolds around developing political events, terrorist activities (including attacks), an anti-government radical group, and mini-stories involving potential immigrants or visitors. Players encounter many ethical problems with no good-for-everyone solutions. Read the full review.
In this point-and-click adventure game, players interact with characters who are facing real-world problems like hunger and poverty. Although the game spans different time periods, mostly in the past, the stark depictions of children in terrible conditions are sure to strike a nerve. Read the full review.
Kids can learn about identifying emotions through facial expressions and reaction to stimuli in this creative play app. They're encouraged to use their imaginations to make new creative scenes by using props to dress up and interact with animal characters. Read the full review.
Players in this simulation game learn not only about the costs of doing business, but also about the risks of doing business, in a developing country where simple errands can cost family members their lives. Although almost entirely text-based, the game doesn't sugarcoat death, disease, and some unsettling violence. Read the full review.
Some empathy games have also been designed for younger kids. Two recommended by Common Space Education include the following:
The story in this interactive rhyming book, in which kids meet a variety of unique characters, is short but powerful. It could work beautifully at the beginning of the school year to help kids get to know and appreciate one another and share more about themselves in a positive environment. Read the full review.
Re-Mission 2 is a suite of six games produced by the nonprofit HopeLab with two goals in mind: to help young cancer patients cope with the stress of treatment and to help all kids learn more about the medical science related to the disease in several of its forms. Read the full review.
Empathy and Counseling
Based on your child’s age and your family’s values, you can determine which strategies for teaching empathy are the best fit. You might also be interested in consulting a professional about your child’s emotional development and well-being. Check out our recent blog post, “Signs Your Child Needs Counseling,” for additional information on pursuing counseling for kids.
Atlanta Innovative Counseling Center is here to put you in touch with one of our highly-trained, experienced therapists who can help your child on this journey.
Counseling provides a safe space for children to discuss their feelings and their relationships with others in a caring, supportive environment. We are also offering telemental health options during the coronavirus crisis. Please consider giving us a call today to discuss the right kind of counseling support for you or your child.